Coming Out 101 - Part I
The first rule of coming out is there are no rules just guidelines.
Every situation is different. Reactions can be unpredictable so being secure and safe takes priority over any need to spill the gay beans. The world will stay in its axis even if you don't tell a drunken Uncle Harry THE BIG NEWS.
Coming out is a process. There is no poof and done button. Unless you can perform a magic pirouette and a grand ta-da announcement at the next family reunion which is NOT recommended, you'll handle this one little listener at a time.
So where are you?
No, I don't mean in the physical sense.
Are you currently equipped to move forward? Esteem issues can run roughshod over anyone who isn't secure with who they are. I have seen friends use the coming out experience almost as a form of emotional self mutilation. Mental cutting.
Sound crazy? You bet.
Depending on the gay perception baggage that has been packed for you by your parents, teachers, peers, or pastors - telling folks may be a very quick way to self sabotage your worth. Now in reality, coming out at its best is liberating and not in the "oh boy I get to put a rainbow flag on my car antenna now" sort of way.
It's liberating to be truthful and in alignment with who you are. Ducking and dodging doesn't promote well being on any level, but that doesn't mean that you should run out and tell grocer Bob so you can be in balance and honest.
In the simplest of terms, coming out is about getting the self image of who you are squared with the truth you present to the world and living comfortably as a byproduct of that truth.
There is no hurry. Your comfort zone or for some the lack thereof will propel you into the right action.
Every situation is different. Reactions can be unpredictable so being secure and safe takes priority over any need to spill the gay beans. The world will stay in its axis even if you don't tell a drunken Uncle Harry THE BIG NEWS.
Coming out is a process. There is no poof and done button. Unless you can perform a magic pirouette and a grand ta-da announcement at the next family reunion which is NOT recommended, you'll handle this one little listener at a time.
So where are you?
No, I don't mean in the physical sense.
Are you currently equipped to move forward? Esteem issues can run roughshod over anyone who isn't secure with who they are. I have seen friends use the coming out experience almost as a form of emotional self mutilation. Mental cutting.
Sound crazy? You bet.
Depending on the gay perception baggage that has been packed for you by your parents, teachers, peers, or pastors - telling folks may be a very quick way to self sabotage your worth. Now in reality, coming out at its best is liberating and not in the "oh boy I get to put a rainbow flag on my car antenna now" sort of way.
It's liberating to be truthful and in alignment with who you are. Ducking and dodging doesn't promote well being on any level, but that doesn't mean that you should run out and tell grocer Bob so you can be in balance and honest.
In the simplest of terms, coming out is about getting the self image of who you are squared with the truth you present to the world and living comfortably as a byproduct of that truth.
There is no hurry. Your comfort zone or for some the lack thereof will propel you into the right action.
I learned a little and it helped some. I need to learn more.
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Hi Earl:
We have a peer to peer forum and chat set up so you can be in a safe environment. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me personally at:
sue@comingout101.com
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