Coming Out 101 Blog

A Final Thought?

sue@comingout101.com (Sue) — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 10:00:00 GMT

I would rather be loathed for who I am than loved for who I am not.

Dyer

England Bans Fred Phelps & Daughter

sue@comingout101.com (Sue) — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 21:04:00 GMT

The United Kingdom has banned Fred Phelps and his daughter from entering their country. Apparently Phelps had planned to protest a play about Matthew Shepard when the British government stepped in and said no thanks, you can keep your hate mongering, banjo playing, porch sitting donkey ass at home.

Hail to the Queen - all of them, everywhere.

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Bianca & Reese Say I Do PostScript

sue@comingout101.com (Sue) — Sat, 14 Feb 2009 14:16:00 GMT

What would a gay wedding be without someone driving off a cliff wearing a wedding veil on a motorcycle no less? And yes, it was the heterosexual bride who literally took the plunge.

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Here Come the Brides - Bianca & Reese Say I Do

sue@comingout101.com (Sue) — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 14:47:00 GMT

All My Children will air the first gay wedding on daytime television.

Viva La Lucci and her darling daughter Bianca.

Pucker Up, Baby

sue@comingout101.com (Sue) — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 01:52:00 GMT

Even Fox gets it funny occasionally.

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Happy Saturday

sue@comingout101.com (Sue) — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 15:55:00 GMT

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Made Me Laugh

sue@comingout101.com (Sue) — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 19:47:00 GMT

If they make this face, they cannot serve. Courtesy of Pulp Friction.

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Dick Cheney

sue@comingout101.com (Sue) — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 16:27:00 GMT

STFU

Twitter Me Home

sue@comingout101.com (Sue) — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 12:30:00 GMT

For those of you who are not twittering yet, you need to be.

It's a great way to promote your site and meet new like minded people.

See you in twitterville.

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Ted Haggard and the Hazards of Homophobia

sue@comingout101.com (Sue) — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 16:24:00 GMT

Seeing Ted Haggard make the media rounds to promote his documentary has been a sad excursion into a relentless denial.

I know how he enrages many in our community. Personally, I just feel empathy for someone who is that pathologically insecure. How much self loathing can one really endure? And yet, by indulging his own denial and self hate, he perpetuates those feelings in others because in Ted's mind, it is never okay to be homosexual.

Make no mistake - the guy is gay, gay, gay. If he were any more queer he'd have to have an autographed Liza litho hanging in his velvet clad meditation room.

Good grief.

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The Day the Music Died

sue@comingout101.com (Sue) — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 16:18:00 GMT

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Bad Blog Owner

sue@comingout101.com (Sue) — Sat, 17 Jan 2009 14:52:00 GMT

How bad a blog owner am I? Horrible.

I have been so distracted by trying to get another project off the ground that my idea to help those who are about to come out has gotten a little dusty.

Well, I'm blowing off the cobwebs and rededicating myself to giving Coming Out 101 the attention it has earned.

Happy Saturday, ya'll.

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The Rick Warren & Melissa Etheridge Affair

sue@comingout101.com (Sue) — Sat, 03 Jan 2009 14:02:00 GMT

Hey Melissa:

Since you have stated you don't want to pay anymore taxes to California due to Prop 8 passing, maybe you should donate those thousands of dollars to the Rick-A-Thon.

To be clear, Rick Warren can view gays any old way he chooses, but to have him on the record comparing same sex marriage to pedophilia - well Melissa how can you defend your new found friend?

I have said all along that we should take religion out of this fight and go for civil unions which would guarantee us equal protection under the law in regards to health care, housing, and taxes.

I have defended Christian leaders and their right to believe that marriage is a religious ceremony between a man and a woman. If Pastor Warren had simply said this, I'd say come on down to the inauguration. After all, we wanted and voted for a man who said he would reach across to the other side - this is the other side - the other side of reason and decency.

When loving another human being is compared to child molestation not only are you ratcheting up fear mongering Pastor Warren, you are essentially saying we are less than human. We're depraved, sick and of no value unless of course one of us has a few gold records - then you are our number one fan in pure Kathy Bates fashion.

Contrary to how Melissa tried to paint it and I certainly understand her intent, you Pastor Rick Warren are a bigot and no one time meeting with a famous lesbian is going to change that.

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Merry Christmas

sue@comingout101.com (Sue) — Thu, 25 Dec 2008 14:20:00 GMT

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Put a Little Love in Your Heart

sue@comingout101.com (Sue) — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 12:03:00 GMT

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White Christmas

sue@comingout101.com (Sue) — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 13:48:00 GMT

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Frisco Christmas Lights - Wizards in Winter

sue@comingout101.com (Sue) — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 11:08:00 GMT

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Gay "Pink" Christmas in Amsterdam

sue@comingout101.com (Sue) — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 10:43:00 GMT

A Dutch gay group has organized what is being called a "Pink Christmas."

For the first time, a Nativity scene will feature same sex couples away in the manger.

Does Florida and California know about this? They may have to rush Prop 2 as in two Josephs and two Marys onto their next ballots.

Where is Mitt Romney when you need him?

My guess: Probably attending a 13 year old's nuptials to Uncle Eddie.

Oh, the humanity.

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Grinch

sue@comingout101.com (Sue) — Sat, 06 Dec 2008 10:37:00 GMT

In case you missed the hundred times it's already been on this holiday season.

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Happy 25th Year

sue@comingout101.com (Sue) — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 16:18:00 GMT

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Give Yourself The Greatest Gift

sue@comingout101.com (Sue) — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 16:28:00 GMT

This holiday season has started off with so much sadness in the news. Between the violence in India and the unfathomable conduct by shoppers at a Long Island WalMart who trampled a worker to death on their way to save some pennies, you have to wonder again - what the hell is wrong with everybody?

The list is simply too long.

We value the hustle and bustle more than solitude.
We esteem things more than people.
And we treasure being right above all else.

We just can't stand to be wrong about anything.

So my wish for you as we get lost in the blur of the holidays is simply this:

Get real.

Be authentic.

Choose truth.

Come out.

Come out to yourself. Be who you are instead of who you think others want you to be.

There is nothing that can happen to you that is worse than living a lie on any level. There are many consequences for choosing dishonesty, none more dire than loss of self.

Give yourself the greatest gift of all - come out, live proudly and give back.

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Happy Travels

sue@comingout101.com (Sue) — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 13:18:00 GMT

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Our News Feed is Down

sue@comingout101.com (Sue) — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 16:53:00 GMT

Our news feed is down and I apologize to anyone who may use it to get quick hits.

I'm sort of relieved as it gives me an excuse to take a news sabbatical. Even when you're fighting for what's right, too much emphasis on the negative only stands to do more damage universally speaking.

And since I'm a firm believer that what we give thought to expands, I will relish this tiny respite to regenerate.

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Time to Get in the Mood

sue@comingout101.com (Sue) — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 12:51:00 GMT

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A Queer Who Agrees with Me on Civil Unions: Sir Elton

sue@comingout101.com (Sue) — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 14:45:02 GMT

I seem to stir the pot a bit when I express my opinion concerning gay marriage vs civil unions. I've stated numerous times here that I think it was a mistake to go after gay marriage when civil unions solves the legal protection under the law issue without dragging religion into the fray.

Of course my inbox is constantly filled with "and you call yourself a queer" emails, but finally some prominent gay has spoken up:

Elton John

Yes, it's a conservative columnist who jumped all over the quotes, but the quotes are reasonable.

Take religion out of it and we'll get tax breaks, adoption and custody rights and hospital visitations for all gays.

Again, why is that so awful?

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Theology vs Gay Marriage vs Civil Unions

sue@comingout101.com (Sue) — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 11:46:00 GMT

If Prop 8 had been about equal rights under the law specifically as it relates to taxes, child custody, adoptions and hospital visitation, it's my belief it would not have passed.

Instead it did simply because of the term marriage and theology. You cannot legislate a reversal of biblical beliefs nor should you and therein lies the real issue.

Hear me out...

A separation of church and state does not alter one iota the religious beliefs of many - rightly or wrongly. To most church goers, marriage theologically speaking is between a man and a woman and there is not a church in this great land of ours that should be forced to think otherwise.

Many in our community refuse to acknowledge that one's right to practice religious freedom means the possibility that some church doctrines will never come around to gay marriage.

Is that hate or freedom of religion? And would the same Christians have voted for a law that banned equal rights?

We'll never know and most of us will never wonder.

Choosing to go for gay marriage instead of civil unions has put religion squarely in the middle of a fight we can't win. You can't argue theology and expect a reasonable outcome because most believers aren't reasonable when it comes to their religion.

Oh, you can try, but you run the risk of desensitizing the rest of America to the bloody stump that once was our collective agenda for legal protection.

And isn't legal protection really all we wanted? When did it turn into forcing pastors to marry two people they don't want to marry because of a lifelong held belief?

Now what?

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Old News Now: Wanda Sykes is Out and Loving It

sue@comingout101.com (Sue) — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 18:59:00 GMT

Read all about it.

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Is it Okay if I'm Gay?

sue@comingout101.com (Sue) — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 16:05:00 GMT

Ever since California legislated what is essentially a religious dogma for all (Prop 8), my inbox has been flooded with people wondering aloud (ok via email) if being gay is okay.

The utter decimation of a group's self worth and esteem is rarely mentioned in all the political posturing and chest thumping from both sides.

Depicting homosexuals as less than human, less than equal, or on par with pedophiles as some religious zealots have reiterated numerous times, ultimately costs lives and to think otherwise is naive and foolish.

Most people value the opinion of others more than their own. More than one will put a gun in their mouth or swallow a cocktail of meds or get tied to a post because of this ill conceived perception.

It may not be this week or next, but someone's son or daughter will die because a powerful religion cemented the notion that marrying someone you love is on the same level as molesting a child or beastiality.

The Mormon Church should be ashamed of their tenets, their hate and their unabashed spending that literally produced this hideous outcome.

Believe this:

Corrupt religious leaders with their own agenda and power trips paved the way. God and Jesus had nothing to do with it.

Ego and judgment reign in California.

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To Our Veterans: Thank You

sue@comingout101.com (Sue) — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 18:40:00 GMT

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Some Sunday Sillies

sue@comingout101.com (Sue) — Sun, 09 Nov 2008 10:53:00 GMT

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Melissa Etheridge on Prop 8 Passing

sue@comingout101.com (Sue) — Sat, 08 Nov 2008 13:48:00 GMT

This was originally published at: The Daily Beast

You Can Forget My Taxes

by Melissa Etheridge

Okay. So Prop 8 passed. Alright, I get it. 51% of you think that I am a second class citizen. Alright then. So my wife, uh I mean, roommate? Girlfriend? Special lady friend? You are gonna have to help me here because I am not sure what to call her now. Anyways, she and I are not allowed the same right under the state constitution as any other citizen. Okay, so I am taking that to mean I do not have to pay my state taxes because I am not a full citizen. I mean that would just be wrong, to make someone pay taxes and not give them the same rights, sounds sort of like that taxation without representation thing from the history books.

Okay, cool I don't mean to get too personal here but there is a lot I can do with the extra half a million dollars that I will be keeping instead of handing it over to the state of California. Oh, and I am sure Ellen will be a little excited to keep her bazillion bucks that she pays in taxes too. Wow, come to think of it, there are quite a few of us fortunate gay folks that will be having some extra cash this year. What recession? We're gay! I am sure there will be a little box on the tax forms now single, married, divorced, gay, check here if you are gay, yeah, that's not so bad. Of course all of the waiters and hairdressers and UPS workers and gym teachers and such, they won't have to pay their taxes either.

Gay people are born everyday. You will never legislate that away.

Oh and too bad California, I know you were looking forward to the revenue from all of those extra marriages. I guess you will have to find some other way to get out of the budget trouble you are in.

…Really?

When did it become okay to legislate morality? I try to envision someone reading that legislation "eliminates the right" and then clicking yes. What goes through their mind? Was it the frightening commercial where the little girl comes home and says, "Hi mom, we learned about gays in class today" and then the mother gets that awful worried look and the scary music plays? Do they not know anyone who is gay? If they do, can they look them in the face and say "I believe you do not deserve the same rights as me"? Do they think that their children will never encounter a gay person? Do they think they will never have to explain the 20% of us who are gay and living and working side by side with all the citizens of California?

I got news for them, someday your child is going to come home and ask you what a gay person is. Gay people are born everyday. You will never legislate that away.

I know when I grew up gay was a bad word. Homo, lezzie, faggot, dyke. Ignorance and fear ruled the day. There were so many "thems" back then. The blacks, the poor ... you know, "them". Then there was the immigrants. "Them.” Now the them is me.

I tell myself to take a breath, okay take another one, one of the thems made it to the top. Obama has been elected president. This crazy fearful insanity will end soon. This great state and this great country of ours will finally come to the understanding that there is no "them". We are one. We are united. What you do to someone else you do to yourself. That "judge not, lest ye yourself be judged" are truthful words and not Christian rhetoric.

Today the gay citizenry of this state will pick themselves up and dust themselves off and do what we have been doing for years. We will get back into it. We love this state, we love this country and we are not going to leave it. Even though we could be married in Mass. or Conn, Canada, Holland, Spain and a handful of other countries, this is our home. This is where we work and play and raise our families. We will not rest until we have the full rights of any other citizen. It is that simple, no fearful vote will ever stop us, that is not the American way.

Come to think of it, I should get a federal tax break too...

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100 + Resources for Coming Out

sue@comingout101.com (Sue) — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 11:43:00 GMT

Here is a fantastic article that includes just about every coming out resource imaginable. So even if you don't fancy our site, you now have no excuse.

Read on:

100 + Resources for Coming Out

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YES WE CAN

sue@comingout101.com (Sue) — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 11:25:00 GMT

What Would Jesus Do?

sue@comingout101.com (Sue) — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 13:35:00 GMT

VOTE

Oxymoron: A Conservative Think Tank

sue@comingout101.com (Sue) — Sun, 02 Nov 2008 16:36:00 GMT

Traditional marriage is in society's best interest

By Paul Mero
Salt Lake Tribune

Article Launched:11/02/2008 12:00:00 AM MDT

There are several key questions at the heart of gay marriage.
    What is the compelling state interest in marriage? Why does the state even recognize a private matter such as marriage? Answer: The state ("we, the people") naturally seeks to perpetuate its existence and its own welfare.
    America must encourage the best arrangements for people to reproduce and rear generations that most benefit society.
    In pursuing these ends, the state has chosen to recognize male-to-female marriages.
    What is the rational basis for this decision? Answer: What humans have known intuitively is backed by mountains of empirical evidence that "traditional" marriage does the best job of child-bearing and child-rearing.
    Even so, the "best job" is a relative concept among imperfect humans. Why not encourage other marital relationships, such as gay marriage?
    Indeed, in a Hawaii Supreme Court, gays argued that, empirically, they are at least as good as the worst heterosexuals in raising children. So why not let them marry and adopt children?
    Answer: "As good as the worst" is a pretty low standard to codify. All children deserve the best standard - the complementarity of a male father and a female mother.
    But isn't gay marriage a civil rights issue? Answer: possibly. If you believe that innate "sexual orientation" should be a protected characteristic along with race, color, religion and national origin, then yes.
    If you don't believe people are born gay, then you might hesitate to draw the equation - you might be reluctant to equate a sex act with other human choices such as religion.
    Certainly gays can love one another just like anybody else. Why not afford gays equal protection to love each other? Answer: If love is the sole basis of legal marriage, the state interest in marriage disappears.
    Will gay marriage destroy civilization? Answer: Actually, it seems the converse is more accurate. Apparently, a crumbling familial infrastructure gives momentum to gay marriage. The states with the highest rates of divorce, late marriages, cohabitation, single living, low remarriage, delaying children, childlessness and out-of-wedlock births are exactly those states that have embraced gay marriage to date.
    Perhaps the best case for gay marriage comes from conservative gays who argue that there is a state interest in domesticating promiscuous gay males. Doesn't society want to encourage responsible gay relationships? Answers: 1) Marriage doesn't domesticate men, women do, and (*Sue's comment: LOLOLOL) 2) Laws don't make people good, people do.
    Our laws reflect our collective prevailing morality, plain and simple. Our laws reaffirm what we endorse.
    Finally, how do gay marriages hurt heterosexual marriages? Answer: They don't, personally. But, in terms of law and policy, they would redefine marriage, evaporating the current state interest.
    The best rational basis to oppose gay marriage is our unwillingness to codify familial dysfunction. Gay marriage leaves men, women and especially children handicapped in the sort of personal development a truly progressive civilization requires.
    ---
    * PAUL MERO is president of the Sutherland Institute, a conservative think tank.

___________________________________

Hmmm, a conservative think tank editorial in the Salt Lake Tribune? Oh, the humanity. I wonder how Mr. Mero feels about polygamy and children being forced to marry at age 12?

Perhaps you should ask him at:

si@sutherlandinstitute.org.

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Wanda Sykes on Prop 8 with Ellen

sue@comingout101.com (Sue) — Sun, 02 Nov 2008 02:31:00 GMT

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Ellen and Paris Go Clubbing

sue@comingout101.com (Sue) — Sat, 01 Nov 2008 17:54:00 GMT

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Federal Appeals Court Okays Funeral Protests

sue@comingout101.com (Sue) — Sat, 01 Nov 2008 01:43:00 GMT

A federal appeals court yesterday stated that Missouri may not enforce a law banning funeral protests until it is determined if the law is constitutional.

Fred Phelps and his "God hates fags" cohorts of the Westboro Church have already announced their intentions to picket Normandy High School near St. Louis on Monday because 50 teenagers may have been exposed to the AIDS virus.

Maybe they can tie one to a fencepost in between the damning and the sign painting.

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The Goddess of Halloween

sue@comingout101.com (Sue) — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 09:46:00 GMT

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Say Yes to Gay Marriage (No to Prop 8)

sue@comingout101.com (Sue) — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 08:41:00 GMT

Okay Californians, it's time to step up to the plate and swing away. It's the bottom of the 9th and there are two men out and three men on. Hitting a pop sacrifice fly for the religious right won't win the humanity game. Laying down a bunt for the slow witted and lead footed moral police won't get 'er home.

As you might already suspect, this vote isn't particularly about Adam and Steve or Lucy and Lisa. That's the smoke and mirror game the other side has invented so you'll take your eye off the ball. Neither is it about the pseudo erosion of some imagined marriage foundation. If that were the case, the big bad wolf would've loved your shaky old digs and blown your house down ages ago.

No, this is about doing the right thing - nothing more, nothing less.

What is the right thing?

Custody rights? Check.

Adoption rights? Check.

Tax breaks? Check.

Insurance inclusion? Check.

Hospital visitation rights? Check.

Validation of two adults who love each other? Check.

Vote no on Prop 8 and let's bring everyone home - together.

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Vote No On Prop 8

sue@comingout101.com (Sue) — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 14:41:00 GMT

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Jerry Lewis Just Got Dumber

sue@comingout101.com (Sue) — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 23:29:00 GMT

Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't it just last year that Jerry Lewis had to apologize to the gay community for using a derogatory term?

Well, he's at it again. While visiting Australia a reporter asked Mr. Lewis what he thought of their national sport cricket.

Jerry:

"Oh, cricket? It's a fag game. What are you, nuts?"

Charming.

I would suggest a boycott of Jerry Lewis products, but like most has beens, he doesn't have any.

Carry on.

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Coming Out 101 Update Schmupdate

sue@comingout101.com (Sue) — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 09:45:00 GMT

The site is now five months old and I still have great expectations concerning its overall purpose. Coming Out 101 wants to provide an online peer to peer safe haven for the LGBTQ community and their families.

I encourage those of you who visit the blog to pass it along or do one better and write a feature article about coming out and submit it to me.

If someone you love is gay or transgendered please feel free to share your story. It could be your words that change a life.

As always you can email me at: sue@comingout101.com or use the contact form at the main site.

I know the blog is a big hodgepodge of ideas and videos, but the forum and chat options are geared towards those just coming out.

And on that note just two more weeks and then our American lives can return to some sort of normality. Yippee!

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Smile Everybody

sue@comingout101.com (Sue) — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 13:33:00 GMT

Visit RoseanneWorld

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19 Days and Counting

sue@comingout101.com (Sue) — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 22:33:00 GMT

My first aspiration beyond providing a peer to peer safe haven for the LGBTQ community was to steer clear of politics.

Yeah, well that lasted about two weeks into the blog.

Personally, I could not be more delighted that the backstabbing, sneering, chiding, grumbling that has become so fundamental to any campaign will very soon be nothing but a B movie in my rear view mirror. Beyond Tina Fey, it's been utterly hideous to watch.

And party allegiance has never so skewed reality. Apparently, I'm just as guilty as any republican. My mother (registered republican but voting for Obama) and I watched the same debate last night.

My take:

John McCain looked like he was a minor traffic accident away from climbing a bell tower armed with an Uzi.

My mother's take:

Did you see the way Obama snickered and smiled at inappropriate times?

Well, no I didn't.

But, she did - often.

Repeat after me:

19 days...19 days...19 days.

I've seen that movie too...

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Support The Trevor Project

sue@comingout101.com (Sue) — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 11:23:00 GMT

The Trevor Project

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Come Out, Come Out Wherever You Are

sue@comingout101.com (Sue) — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 14:35:00 GMT

Happy National Coming Out Day Everybody!

Let's all be careful out there today. Remember to...

Smile when someone tells you that being gay or transgender is a choice. If we're placing orders, I'll take some blue eyes and fewer crow's feet.

Smile when someone tells you it's a phase.

Smile when someone tells you I already knew.

Smile when someone tells you: I love you no matter what.

Smile when someone tells you: now doesn't that feel better?

Smile when someone tells you: you'll always have a home here.

Smile, smile, smile.

This is your day to stand up and be true to yourself - your wonderful authentic self.

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Anglican Chaplain: Tattoo Sodomy on Gays

sue@comingout101.com (Sue) — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 13:14:00 GMT

The Rev. Peter Mullen of London says he was merely "joking" when he suggested that the following phrase be inked on the backside of all gays:

"Sodomy can seriously damage your health."

Ah, it's so refreshing to have such an esteemed man of God behave in such a kind, tolerant, loving, inclusive manner. Bless him.

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Who Couldn't Use A Little Estrogen?

sue@comingout101.com (Sue) — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 20:48:00 GMT

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Am I Gay? Beats Me

sue@comingout101.com (Sue) — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 15:46:00 GMT

Am I gay?

That is the question.

The answer:

Yes, ma'am.

Of course, I couldn't name it way back when, but I knew as early as 2nd grade. Mrs. Hatfield just made me feel differently than Mr. Boswell. It wasn't sexual or perverted, I just felt a warmth, a vibe, an energy around the women teachers that wasn't present around the men. Time hasn't distorted that memory. It's vividly stark.

Why am I bringing this up?

Well, it's pretty apparent to anyone who reads this blog that I know who I am. I've known for a very long time and I'm quite comfy within that knowledge.

So for someone like me, it's quite perplexing how someone can get to their forties and simply "discover" their gayness.

I contend that their orientation was known all along, but for reasons ranging from societal, religious guilt, perceived family shame, some folks simply deny - deny - deny. I'm not talking about the questioning teenager who may develop a crush on their gym teacher that is simply that - a one time crush that will mean nothing a month from now or may mean everything.

I'm also a firm believer that people can fall in love with anyone of any gender regardless of a solidified orientation. It happens and it doesn't mean that orientation is a choice. Emotions are a screwy, delightful albatross at times. Is it healthy? I don't know. Love is love to me.

But I digress...

How can someone reach the midpoint of his or her life and not know who they are?

Living authentically isn't a lifestyle, it's called adulthood. It's peace versus turmoil. Love versus lust. Compassion versus narcissism.

Projecting and believing a lie in any form produces only what it can: emotional chaos. And when you bring emotional chaos to the table, you better bring a shovel and a lot of napkins.

This is not about coming out or staying in the closet. Coming Out 101 fully supports the personal decision that we all have to make concerning that life altering decision. What I'm referring to is much bigger than even that. You can't come out to the world until you first come out to yourself.

Which brings me back to how can you reach your forties and not know who you are? What sheltered state of awareness must one live in to be oblivious to that internal mega force called attraction? Is it really possible?

Somebody, please educate me.

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